Stranger Things

For a long time now I have struggled in any kind of public situation. I feel especially uncomfortable in the presence of anyone I don't already know, usually regarding them with a degree of suspicion that pervades far beyond those initial encounters. This is a profound issue which has created all sorts of problems that have seriously hindered my life since childhood. On the other hand, one of my friends, when I put this to him, retorted (perhaps as a kindness) that avoiding strangers is "just common sense" and "what British people do". Still, I can't help but feel that I've missed out on a lot because of it.

Last week I remembered something interesting, which makes me wonder if this is where it comes from. It was something that happened to me when I was five years old, in my first year at primary school, and the fact that I still remember it (and particularly the way I remember it) suggests it was quite a formative experience in my development.

It was the lesson about paedophiles.

Not that the teacher (who I otherwise remember as being especially lovely) ever explained what a paedophile is, what he does, what he wants, nor even used the word 'paedophile' - all quite understandably - it is only in retrospect that I understand what this lesson was really about. It was explained to us by the teacher, with a series of illustrations to guide. The illustrations (now forgive me - I was five years old and have only the vaguest memory of most of this) depict a man driving up to a child and offering the child some sweets.

The word used?

'Stranger'.

We were told again and again, "don't take sweets from strangers!" That line, along with "never talk to a stranger!" were repeated to us ad nauseam so our little five year old minds took the message to heart - I don't remember if we were told why we shouldn't do these things, those obviously weren't the key messages. Just avoid the horrible strangers. Got it.

There was something else about the day of this lesson, the first lesson of the day indeed, that was also notably memorable. This was the day that a new girl started in our class - Elaine, I think her name was. As I recall she was understandably a little meek as the teacher introduced her at the start of the day. I can only imagine it got worse, about midway through the "strangers" lesson.

"Never talk to a stranger!" the teacher repeated, before mindlessly running straight into the next sentence: "Now, when I met Elaine this morning, she was a stranger..."

If there was subsequently a qualification given to this remark, I just don't remember it sadly. This is the version that is forever etched on my memory, and the definition of a 'stranger' was clear in my mind: it could be anyone.

And hence I never talk to strangers.

But I do take sweets from men who drive their cars up to me. It's a strange world.

Comics I've Written

Decap Attack

• Good Luck Chuck

Sonic the Hedgehog

• The Elephant In The Room
• Many Happy Returns
• The Tale of Cream the Rabbit
• Robotnikat's Sunday Funnies

Winding up the cold caller

Phone rings. "Have you ever had any accidents or injuries?", he asks. Gah...

"I did once have an elevator fall on me. weighing about 80 tons. I was just walking along, when someone cut the cable and it fell on me."

"Where was this?" he asks.

"Swansea." "So, was that quite a serious injury?" "It put me in a coma for two months. but then I got up and walked away."

"So... er... you must be a pretty strong man..."

"Well... not really!"

*CLICK* as he hangs up...

And now my British political compass

The Political Compass
Economic Left/Right: 0.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.59


This one doesn't surprise me at all. The questions I found a lot more relevant to me and therefore easier to answer decisively; hardly surprising given that this was the British test. I am pleased to find myself firmly in the libertarian axis (especially given how conservative some of my answers were) but I'm a little bit worried that my only historical counterpart on the left-right axis is Adolf Hitler!

Took this American political spectrum quiz...

My Political Views
I am a center-right social moderate
Right: 2.56, Authoritarian: 0.22

Political Spectrum Quiz


My Foreign Policy Views
Score: 2.43


My Culture War Stance
Score: 0.08


It says "Your political spectrum result is a great conversation starter on forums, on your blog or your social network of choice." What a load of rubbish!

Where's the wally?

hint: he's the only one facing the camera, wondering if he's ruined that guy's shot... (click for bigger)



Courtesy of the wonderful D'Israeli.

Meeting Russell T Davies (warning: contains deeply unflattering photograph)

That went by a lot more quickly than I expected - I needn't have bothered turning up half an hour early, I could have popped along at 1pm and been in and out in half an hour. (I suspect that the requirement to buy the £25 book put a lot of people off - lucky I got it as a birthday present last week!) Still I met a nice young lady in the queue, we chatted about RTD's various works, the book, and her favourite show Torchwood (?!) before she had to dash back to HBOS of all places - to be honest I'd expected to be waiting a lot longer, I was quite underwhelmed with the brevity of the hour-and-a-half wait!

Russell T Davies was bubbly and charming - he looks about fifteen years younger in real life! The camera really does pile on the years. I blurted out (lacking the time to say the million profound things I'd learned from or wondered about his many works) that I loved his cartoons in the book, and that he could have had the career as a comic book artist he'd wanted in his teenage years. I think he was pleased with that(!) Benjamin Cook was also very nice, I told him how much I'd been enjoying the book (so much that I missed Sarah Jane the other day!), he says they might be doing another one(!), and he almost stole my camera!

David Davis and Tory Conference in Birmingham

Today I had the pleasure of seeing David Davis MP take on an audience (and Iain Dale) for a good hour or so at the Freedom Zone. With his by-election long over now I wonder what the future holds for this man. It seems like a criminal waste of his phenomenal talents and energy to leave him languishing on the backbenches, for the sake of political convenience, when Britain is clearly on the brink of economic and social disaster and will need the best possible team to lead it to the forefront of the 21st century in the event of a Conservative election victory. It also feels bizarre that someone who came second in the most recent leadership contest is not in the ministerial team at all (I suppose the same could be said of Labour's John McDonnell, but he was barely even a runner-up - and it was hardly fought on what one could call an honourable basis). Anyway he seemed to please most of the audience, even though half of them wanted to talk more about the EU than civil liberties (there were a few refreshingly distinct voices such as the woman at the end who talked about her lost confidence in politicians and how she might regain them if someone of "principle" such as Davis became part of a government).




The Conservative conference is completely cordened off and surrounded by police; with it being bang in the middle of the city I can't help but wonder how they expect locals to react. In order to attend you have to have been a party member for at least three months and even then it costs something like £200 to attend (unless booked far in advance). Andrew Mitchell mentioned a "conference extra" for the plebs on the regional broadcast but I never saw anything of the sort (unless he meant the external fringe events, but since those aren't organised by the Tories (that I know of) they can't claim credit to them! Not being a badge-holder or, for all I know, a member*, I spent my few hours there in the Freedom Zone but felt distinctly underdressed in my polo shirt and jeans, while everyone else (except Guido Fawkes who was wearing bright orange trousers for some reason!) was in full suit and tie! What little nerve I had to speak to anyone was killed stone dead at that point!

* I thought I was a member when I paid to join last year but I received absolutely no communications apart from an e-mail invite to a "Hague-a-thon" bar crawl (not my cup of tea unfortunately). Was I a member? I guess I'll never know...

Welcome to my brand new blog

This is going to be a UK blog about comic books, politics and hair that is longer than is normal.

My leanings are centre-right, but I am not a Conservative party member (I did pay to join a year ago but they never sent me anything to confirm it). I am unemployed, currently based in Birmingham (neither out of choice!) and will turn 24 in two days (not particularly my choice either).

The picture on the right is me, at an unusually happy moment, just over three years ago.

I will be detailing the events of my uneventful life right here, as well as commenting on current events and what I think you should be reading.

Will I write stuff that gets me into enormous trouble? Let's hope not, but probably...